Simply put, I greatly enjoyed this blogging project. It was a new experience for me, as opposed to blogging last year for my history class. This English blogging project was much more personal. I debated with myself when first choosing topics about whether or not I should do something as personal as I did (solitude) out of fear of standing out from the other projects in my class. I didn't want to be the only person to open up and take the project seriously, especially with a topic some might consider dark. Many people can think that wanting to be alone makes me a misanthropic introvert, but hopefully reading my blog has changed the opinion of some people who think like this.
Being able to write down my thoughts actually helped me organize more than I thought it would. Writing thoughts down allowed me to physically see my thoughts and then change them or expand upon them. This was a new experience for me because I normally keep these type of thoughts to myself, especially thoughts about how I like to be alone. I always thought it was easier than trying to defend my argument, keeping my thoughts to myself, but now I don't really think that anymore. I like being able to put my thoughts out there and allow classmates and peers to comment on them, and maybe bounce around some of their ideas and see how the compare with my original ideas. Sometimes the ideas I post are simply rough drafts. This is nice because I get to see how others react to these thoughts.
As this blog was more dedicated to the positive side of my solitude it was sometimes difficult to always focus on the positives. I think of Nick Madeloff's blog and how he talked more on the negative/darker side of being alone. This is certainly something that I go through as well, but I decided to keep it to myself in order to keep this blog in a more positive tone. This wasn't really a struggle because I genuinely enjoy being alone. Overall I'm very glad we did this project and I think I learned a lot; not only from the comments left on my blog but also through reading the blogs of others'.
Sam's English 12 Blog
The Interview
I guess you could say I interviewed my father; although it really was more of an argument. It happens all too often, this argument. I'm in, or I've just stepped out of, the shower and I hear some sort of loud grumblings. That's how it always starts, loud nonsense. But then it turns into my father rounding the corner and telling me all about how much money I'm wasting for showering for so long. "Try not to take an hour this time" he will say as I enter the bathroom, or "Are you gonna be done sometime today or tomorrow?", as he walks by. Normally I just send these comments in one ear and out the other, but I decided to take advantage of this opportunity. So I asked him what he does when he showers. His response was almost exactly what was expected, "The goal is to get in and get out, none of this other bullshit." My response was "But it is the only place in the house where I can guarantee my thought time will be uninterrupted." He wasn't much a fan of that.
The biggest disadvantage to doing my interview in this format, a heated conversation, is that I lack the quotes that a typical sit-down interview would have. But I feel the advantages outweigh this one disadvantage, because it was just a seemingly normal conversation so everything said wasn't mulled over, it was the first thoughts and beliefs that were being said. Also, it felt much more natural and organic than sitting down and forcing the answers out of my father, as opposed to him giving the answers to me.
The next thing I did was listen. At least I tried to listen as he explained to me why taking long showers was such an abomination of an action, and probably something about how I should feel guilty; but I just couldn't pull myself to do it. I have heard this speech more times than I can remember, so again I asked him a question. "Well, dad, if you're so against using the shower as a place to arrange your thoughts or even just think in general, where do you get this done?" I asked. His response, again, was classic Bobby Davis, "I write it down." Questioning him further, I said "Write what down?". This is the point where I started to wish I had a pen and pad to write it down, because I was getting somewhere, but I didn't so I had to pay careful attention. He explained to me that he writes down all of his important reminders, phone numbers, business information, all of it. I should've known that he would be so simple, yet so complicated. He isn't too gifted with technology, so of course he uses sticky notes. I see them all over the house, "DOCTOR APPT. 8:30", always written in all caps. He is always working, always focused on doing the next thing. It sometimes seems to me that he is working for the sake of working.
This discussion with my father was actually eye-opening, despite being almost no different than the many others I've had with him about wasting money. The biggest difference that made this one stick out from the others is how I reacted to what he said. This time I asked questions, and I knew what I was hoping to learn. I didn't outright ask him what being alone meant to him, because it would've sounded like it came out of left and thrown him off, so I can only speculate as to what it really means to him. But, I think it is safe to say that he sees little to no value in being alone. It's just not how he thinks.
This isn't hard for me to understand, because I know my dad pretty well and he is a people-person. But at the same time, its difficult to see how anyone could ignore the valuable time they have to themselves. To me, being alone is peace. It is solitude. It is escaping: stress, pain, emotions. Being alone in my brain sends me to a land of logic, where I can think through any problem I have in my life. This idea of solitude is so important to me that I sometimes forget that not everyone likes being alone.
The biggest disadvantage to doing my interview in this format, a heated conversation, is that I lack the quotes that a typical sit-down interview would have. But I feel the advantages outweigh this one disadvantage, because it was just a seemingly normal conversation so everything said wasn't mulled over, it was the first thoughts and beliefs that were being said. Also, it felt much more natural and organic than sitting down and forcing the answers out of my father, as opposed to him giving the answers to me.
The next thing I did was listen. At least I tried to listen as he explained to me why taking long showers was such an abomination of an action, and probably something about how I should feel guilty; but I just couldn't pull myself to do it. I have heard this speech more times than I can remember, so again I asked him a question. "Well, dad, if you're so against using the shower as a place to arrange your thoughts or even just think in general, where do you get this done?" I asked. His response, again, was classic Bobby Davis, "I write it down." Questioning him further, I said "Write what down?". This is the point where I started to wish I had a pen and pad to write it down, because I was getting somewhere, but I didn't so I had to pay careful attention. He explained to me that he writes down all of his important reminders, phone numbers, business information, all of it. I should've known that he would be so simple, yet so complicated. He isn't too gifted with technology, so of course he uses sticky notes. I see them all over the house, "DOCTOR APPT. 8:30", always written in all caps. He is always working, always focused on doing the next thing. It sometimes seems to me that he is working for the sake of working.
This discussion with my father was actually eye-opening, despite being almost no different than the many others I've had with him about wasting money. The biggest difference that made this one stick out from the others is how I reacted to what he said. This time I asked questions, and I knew what I was hoping to learn. I didn't outright ask him what being alone meant to him, because it would've sounded like it came out of left and thrown him off, so I can only speculate as to what it really means to him. But, I think it is safe to say that he sees little to no value in being alone. It's just not how he thinks.
This isn't hard for me to understand, because I know my dad pretty well and he is a people-person. But at the same time, its difficult to see how anyone could ignore the valuable time they have to themselves. To me, being alone is peace. It is solitude. It is escaping: stress, pain, emotions. Being alone in my brain sends me to a land of logic, where I can think through any problem I have in my life. This idea of solitude is so important to me that I sometimes forget that not everyone likes being alone.
Benefits of Alone Time
Yes. Just yes. That's all that came to mind while reading this article. It was amazing how every idea I was reading was either an idea I had either previously thought of; whether it was while selecting my topic or when I was thinking about what to write about for my first post; or, even better, I completely agreed with even though the thought had never even crossed my mind. This was so fascinating for me, truly, because it all just clicked in my brain. This person who had written this article in some magazine I've never seen before was thinking and writing about the same thoughts and ideas as me! I was glad that I had some different ways of phrasing ideas that would maybe get stuck in my head because I was unable to word them comfortably.
For example, when I reason 6, which reads "By spending time with yourself and gaining a better understanding of who you are and what you desire in life, you're more likely to make better choices about who you want to be around. You also may come to appreciate your relationships more after you've spent some time alone." I was shocked at how similar my train of thought was to this, but the biggest difference was that I had never mentioned this as a reason because I thought it would be considered too taboo and maybe even flat out strange. But seeing this stranger writing it in a magazine suddenly makes it okay for me. Strange, but honest.
Spending time with myself is still one of my favorite things in this world. However, as intriguing as I did find this article, I do disagree with it during certain points. One of the biggest areas of disagreement is how and when this alone time should be spent. More specifically, when the article says "Turn off your cell phone" and "Schedule solitude. Literally. Mark off time in your day planner or calendar for spending time with yourself." These are two of the last things I would think to do when thinking about my alone time. Part of what is so great about MY alone time (this clearly does not apply to everyone as the article says differently) is that it doesn't have to be scheduled. I only need it when I need it. That is to say, when I am stressed, I will seek out my fortress of solitude. I will shut the door, as advised by the article, because I do not wish to be disturbed or interrupted. But without my phone, I have no music. And without music, my ability to focus on my thoughts I wish to ponder upon decreases rapidly. Music is the driving force behind my thinking periods, because it allows me to peacefully fade away into my brain, while my conscious mind is stimulated by the music, my unconscious mind is busy solving all of my biggest and/or most threatening problems at hand.
But these disagreements are the only such dissimilarities that stand out between my ideas and those of the article. We certainly agree on what is one of my main points, which the article opens up with by saying "The great omission in American life is solitude; not loneliness, for this is an alienation that thrives most in the midst of crowds, but that zone of time and space free from outside pressure which is the incubator of the spirit. -- Marya Mannes, author and critic" In today's constantly connected world, finding solitude has become a lost art. In fact, Western culture tends to equate a desire for solitude with people who are lonely, sad, or have antisocial tendencies." I feel it is necessary to apologize for using such a long excerpt from the article, but it is too good not to use the whole piece. This quote represents the opening quote and half of the first paragraph, and it speaks the truth. Solitude is so different from loneliness that it frustrates me when people confuse the two. Being alone does not equate to loneliness, I can't stress it enough. Sometimes, after a stressful day, or perhaps even a great day, it is nice to sit alone and reflect on all the moments that bothered you or moments you will cherish forever. Without this simple moment of solitude to reflect, one can very easily get lost in the daily hustle and bustle and look over all the good memories they have, and possibly forget them.
I can feel myself approaching the end of the list of topics to discuss in this post so let me leave you with this, if you enjoyed reading this at all or even had one moment where you thought something was cool/interesting/intriguing, please take a moment to read these articles. They truly are fascinating.
Other Interesting Article: The Benefits of Spending TIme Alone
Solitude
For my free-write topic in class I decided to choose solitude. Being alone is something that many people are afraid of, but I consider myself to be the complete opposite type of person. This is not to say that I am a recluse or a misanthrope, it just means that I occasionally have introverted tendencies. I love being able to be alone and not be bothered by other people. It allows me to relax, collect my thoughts, and enjoy some music. When I was originally thinking about why I chose this topic, I had no clue. I had simply chosen because I knew it was a topic I would be able to easily and consistently write about, because it really is an activity, if you will, that I enjoy. Then, last night, while I was procrastinating severely by playing some Grand Theft Auto V, I had an epiphany. I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be writing about. I was listening to one of my many calming playlists, all of which are crafted for different scenarios; such as being alone, with friends, night-time or daytime, and other specific situations; and I suddenly realized that I wasn't doing anything. In this sandbox game where I can do just about anything I imagine, I was driving around aimlessly, trapped in thought by my music. Then I started (consciously) thinking a little harder. All day long I had been home alone, enjoying watching football and eating non-stop. But when my dad got home it only took me about an hour and a half to get to a point where I just wanted to be alone again. When I left my dad I rationalized it as being tired of football, which wasn't completely untrue because fantasy football was once again driving me up a wall, but I only realized later that I simply wanted to be alone. After I had gone through this conscious train of thought I returned to my playing of Grand Theft Auto V to try to be productive, as contradictory as that statement might sound, there is an underlying truth that I can still be productive while playing Xbox because it is something that I enjoy. But no more than 20 minutes later, I popped out of my day dream to notice that I was, again, driving around aimlessly and had just been lost in my thoughts. I decided to just succumb to this cycle, because the previous night I had not been able to have any solitude, as I had been at a costume party, and it is not normally socially acceptable to not be social at a party and just go hide somewhere and think, besides that would be very strange I wouldn't have enjoyed that anyways. Having some alone time is not me trying to get away from other people, it is when I am already away from other people, and I have enough time to think and wonder to all my heart's desire. So this lack of focus on Grand Theft Auto V was me making up for one night without my typical pre-sleep routine of being lost in thought. The events of this night made me realize that it is only natural for me to want, maybe even crave, solitude each day. This is the only time when I can be left alone to collect my thoughts, reflect on the past few day's events, and have some peaceful relaxation. It almost always involves music of some sort, because the music is what gets the ball rolling for me, and music is such an important part of my life, there is no reason that I shouldn't listen to music when I'm potentially making huge decisions, or maybe simply reflecting on some happy moments.
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