The Interview

I guess you could say I interviewed my father; although it really was more of an argument. It happens all too often, this argument. I'm in, or I've just stepped out of, the shower and I hear some sort of loud grumblings. That's how it always starts, loud nonsense. But then it turns into my father rounding the corner and telling me all about how much money I'm wasting for showering for so long. "Try not to take an hour this time" he will say as I enter the bathroom, or "Are you gonna be done sometime today or tomorrow?", as he walks by. Normally I just send these comments in one ear and out the other, but I decided to take advantage of this opportunity. So I asked him what he does when he showers. His response was almost exactly what was expected, "The goal is to get in and get out, none of this other bullshit." My response was "But it is the only place in the house where I can guarantee my thought time will be uninterrupted." He wasn't much a fan of that.

The biggest disadvantage to doing my interview in this format, a heated conversation, is that I lack the quotes that a typical sit-down interview would have. But I feel the advantages outweigh this one disadvantage, because it was just a seemingly normal conversation so everything said wasn't mulled over, it was the first thoughts and beliefs that were being said. Also, it felt much more natural and organic than sitting down and forcing the answers out of my father, as opposed to him giving the answers to me.

The next thing I did was listen. At least I tried to listen as he explained to me why taking long showers was such an abomination of an action, and probably something about how I should feel guilty; but I just couldn't pull myself to do it. I have heard this speech more times than I can remember, so again I asked him a question. "Well, dad, if you're so against using the shower as a place to arrange your thoughts or even just think in general, where do you get this done?" I asked. His response, again, was classic Bobby Davis, "I write it down." Questioning him further, I said "Write what down?". This is the point where I started to wish I had a pen and pad to write it down, because I was getting somewhere, but I didn't so I had to pay careful attention. He explained to me that he writes down all of his important reminders, phone numbers, business information, all of it. I should've known that he would be so simple, yet so complicated. He isn't too gifted with technology, so of course he uses sticky notes. I see them all over the house, "DOCTOR APPT. 8:30", always written in all caps. He is always working, always focused on doing the next thing. It sometimes seems to me that he is working for the sake of working.

This discussion with my father was actually eye-opening, despite being almost no different than the many others I've had with him about wasting money. The biggest difference that made this one stick out from the others is how I reacted to what he said. This time I asked questions, and I knew what I was hoping to learn. I didn't outright ask him what being alone meant to him, because it would've sounded like it came out of left and thrown him off, so I can only speculate as to what it really means to him. But, I think it is safe to say that he sees little to no value in being alone. It's just not how he thinks.

This isn't hard for me to understand, because I know my dad pretty well and he is a people-person. But at the same time, its difficult to see how anyone could ignore the valuable time they have to themselves. To me, being alone is peace. It is solitude. It is escaping: stress, pain, emotions. Being alone in my brain sends me to a land of logic, where I can think through any problem I have in my life. This idea of solitude is so important to me that I sometimes forget that not everyone likes being alone.